I'm lost. I am so lost and confused and left wondering why this is happening to me. I can't walk. My knee is strapped up in this huge brace and it's incredibly painful.
And to top that all off, I'm sick with glandular fever. Oh and I'm having an operation on my ears for the third time.
When did my life get like this? A constant stream of trips to doctors and specialists. I'm seeing an orthapedic surgeon tomorrow. I'm scared. I'm so so scared. I don't want to have an operation. I don't want to be able to not dance even though my course is hard and I know I'm failing.
I can't get out of bed and I hate that. Everything has become too hard for me and I have no motivation to complete assignments of which I have 17 due before the 15th of June. I just want to come home. That is all I want. And no one will let me. I can't live here on my own anymore. Being alone is driving me crazy. I want to go home and get better. And be with people who love me and maybe then I'll start feeling happy again.
I just want to feel like myself again. I miss the old me from before I moved to lonely Sydney. I just don't know what to do and I'm confused. Maybe withdrawing from the course is for the best. But it makes me die inside everytime I hear that.
I don't know. I really just don't know.
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